The pope had become very ill and was taken to many doctors, all of whom could not figure out how to cure him. Finally he was brought to an old physician, who stated that he could figure it out. After about an hours examination he came out and told the cardinals that he knew what was wrong. He said that the bad news was that it was a rare disorder of the testicles. He said that the good news was that all the pope had to do to be cured was to have sex. Well, this was not good news to the cardinals, who argued about it at length. Finally they went to the pope with the doctor and explained the situation.After some thought, the pope stated, I agree, but under four conditions. The cardinals were amazed and there arose quite an uproar. Over all ofthe noise there arose a single voice that asked, And what are the four conditions? The room stilled. There was a long pause The pope replied, First the girl must be blind, so that she cannot see with whom she is having sex. Second, she must be deaf, so that she cannot hear with whom she is having sex. Third, she must be dumb so that if somehow she figures out with whom she is having sex, she can tell no one. After another long pause a voice arose and asked, And the fourth condition? Big tits.
After many months of trying to make ends meet, a couple decided that the only way they were going to get any extra cash was to have the old lady start hooking. Early the next morning the wife came home looking very haggard and worn out. The husband guiltily asked how she did, to which the wife replied that she earned two hundred dollars and 50 cents. Thats great! the husband replies. But who gave you the 50 cents? Everybody! replied the wife.
A first-grade class comes in from recess, and the teacher asks a little girl what she did outside. I played in the sandbox, she says. Thats good, replies the teacher. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write sand correctly, Ill give you a cookie. The girl gets her treat, and the teacher asks a boy wearing a turban what he did during recess. I tried to play in the sandbox, but everyone threw rocks at me, he says. Thats blatant racial discrimination! says the teacher. And if you can write blatant racial discrimination on the board, youll get a cookie.
A husband returns home from work one night to discover that his wife is missing. He spends the next two days looking for her, only to come home on the second night and find his spouse sitting in the kitchen, eating some pasta. Youre alive! he cries. Where have you been all this time? These four men kidnapped me and had wild sex with me for a week, she replies. But youve only been gone two days Yeah, Im just here to get something to eat.
A guy walking down the street sees a woman with spectacular breasts and offers her $100 to let him bite them. Are you nuts? she scoffs. What about for $1,000? he asks. Listen, you sick pig, she says. Im not that kind of woman. You wouldnt even do it for $10,000? the man asks hopefully. Youll pay me $10,000 to bite my breasts? she asks. OK, lets go over to that dark alley. Once there she takes off her blouse, and the guy begins caressing her breasts, kissing them, and fondling them. Hey, are you gonna bite them or what? she huffs. Nah, he shrugs. Too expensive.
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